Lost in Uncertainty

We bought an RV.

The Blue Banana
The Blue Banana

It’s a 92 Holiday Rambler Imperial. We saw it on craigslist, decided to drive to Portland that night (a 6 hr drive) and stayed at Cindy’s house. Made it to Portland around midnight, woke up at 6:30 and was off to look at what we hoped would be “the one”. We were certain we did our homework. What to check out, what to look for, not to rush into anything. We said to each other, if we have any doubts we wont get it.

image

It was super clean, great shape for its age and a spacious layout. Rushed for time because I had to work the next day, I had my doubts, and felt uncertain, yet we still pushed through the process. We looked over the fact that the generator didn’t work, or the steps, or the camera. We just wanted to head home with our new old RV, figuring we can work out the kinks later. Now, two weeks later,  there is a super loud clunking when Mitch drives down the road, it is still at RnR RV repair shop.  But hey, we made it from Portland to Spokane, that’s a plus. How is it that we make such rash decisions with something that can effect our future? Are we so excited about finally finding something that looks nice in our price range that everything else goes out the window? Is it that we are the glass is half full, who cares if there’s a crack in the glass kind of people? Seriously self, C’mon!  Since this purchase, my excitement has gone down the drain. I’ve just shut down and checked out for now. I’ve lost my mojo. Where did you gooo mojo?  Maybe i should make myself a new motto, something like, If there’s any doubt, you should do without.  Hmmm, i like it. Now to implement new set motto with conviction!

image

So as blessed and blissful as we were with the CRV purchase, not so with the RV. I am still on the fence about what we now call The Blue Banana. Mitch wants to pick it up this week and pressure wash it. I am dreading the idea of even dealing with it. Lets just say I had envisioned feelings of certainty, excitement and peace with this purchase, that has not been the case. So the jury is still out, only time will tell if we’ll keep it, sell it and hope to get our money back or dig ourselves a deeper hole. Lets just hope that whatever lesson we were meant to learn, we do, so as not to repeat it again!

Papa and the Keurig Coffee Maker

 

image

Not your average joe…

Pops likes his coffee strong, you know the kind that would take paint off a wall and make the average joe not sleep for days. Mitch and I are medium strength coffee drinkers. We thought that getting a Keurig would solve our usual two coffee makers situation for living in the RV. So far not the case, we wrapped up our old machine the first day and showed pops how to make his Folgers with the reusable my K cup. It wasn’t strong enough, he kept on using his maker. We did research to try and make it stronger, from pressing it down ( which you aren’t supposed to do) to taking the plastic from a used disposable k cup and putting the reusable one inside of it to slow down the water flow in hopes that it would be stronger. Nope. A few days pass, pops tries another cup and says, “I can get used to it, it’s not that different.” He cleans out his coffee maker sets it on the dinning room table and I show him again how to set it for the morning. When I come downstairs there is a half a pot of coffee sitting on the stove, but the maker is still sitting on the dinning room table.  So it has gone this way for a few days now, he tries one from the Keurig and ends up making a pot the old fashioned way. The fancy buttons and sizes keep throwing him off and he just isn’t ready to give up having coffee the way he has for 50 some years. So, as with change, it may take time, but I know he will adapt. Today, for the first time in his life he made spaghetti and it was yummy! Ok, not the sauce, that came from a can. But knowing he is still up to trying to do new things at 72 makes me so proud and grateful that he’s my dad!

April showers bring daffodil flowers, and many people to our yard sale!

imageAfter 6 full days of cleaning, pricing, organizing and stresserizing we had our sale. Half of the day on Thursday Mitch and Eli put up tarps because the forecast called for lightning and buckets of rainfall. Friday came and the tarps were like  toilet paper going down the drain, flopping around with the current. After sections of the rope gave way, we gave in and took it all down. We prayed about it, let the worry go and went with the flow. We set up throughout the house, left things in the yard that could get wet and utilized garage. Saturday came and so did the people, and the rain…. Not so much! Thank the good Lord for making it such a great day in every way! Cindy was such a big help, rearranging things, making sure they were visible and just being her great self. It was laid back, but busy. We made a good dent in thinning out our belongings and put the proceeds in our RV savings!

Less is More

My emotional roller coaster of parting with our things continues on. I am experiencing a plethora of feelings; from excitement, to frustration, to a sense of being overwhelmed and unable to focus on anything. So I go online to read about how others felt during this process… Many have said it was difficult yet liberating. I say , that’s not enough to console myself  during this process, I know I am not alone. Once I am done, out of the fog and we have completed the process my outlook will probably be, challenging yet liberating. Funny how often things seem so big in the moment and a little blip in the memory! imageOk, back to my assessment of accessories.  It’s crazy that I spent so much of my life looking for stuff, buying stuff and acquiring stuff! You know that saying” a fool and his money are easily parted”. Now I get it! It is so easy to spend, hard to make and even harder to get it back from something you bought. This has opened my eyes to my spending habits. I will admit it, if I liked something I bought it, if I thought I needed something there was no stopping me. I was on the hunt, and if I wanted it and couldn’t decide on a color, I would buy both! Now that I look back on my actions I see what I was doing. Trying to fill a void, giving myself a false sense of purpose. We all have goals, dreams, aspirations. Well, when I didn’t have a goal to work towards I would begin to feel restless and to ease the discontent I would shop. Shopping to me was like a quest for the best deal, the elusive boot (which I never did find, and am now grateful that I didn’t) the perfect little knick knack to fill that empty spot. The real empty spot was me not fulfilling my destiny. I always thought, well, if we had this, whatever it was,maybe I would feel content and be able to get out of my rut. Not the case. I was just trying to placate my desires for a different way of life with material things.  I would like to blame my actions on my childhood in that we didn’t have much. Nope, that just reminds me that you don’t need much to live a full life. So, if anything, I need to get back to my roots, the basics and enjoy life. I feel like the flowers of spring, growing, slowly changing and soaking up what this experience has already taught me about myself, so I can be the flower that cherishes the glory of this wonderful life.

How to separate yourself from your stuff to get ready to live in an RV fulltime, or whatever it is that you have chosen to do.
* ask yourself, do I use this?
* do you own it, or does its memory own you?
*when did I use it last?
* someday won’t cut it if you haven’t used it yet.
* if you still are on the fence, take a picture of it and let go ( suggested by a few fellow bloggers).
*family air looms; ask family or a close friend to hold onto it, preferably the person you would want to have it if you were to die… Hey , you never know.
One thing that amazed me was how hard it was in the moment to let go of something, and the next day i seriously couldn’t remember what it was. So remind yourself that once you let go, you can go on 🙂
A couple days after selling a few of my favorite candles  (which by the way is gold canyon candles, best candle ever), I was pondering the real meaning of stuff in our lives and thought of my friends and family. When I thought of them, not for a second did I think about what they have. I thought of who they are and how I feel when I am with them or talk to them. In that instant everything changed. My stuff doesn’t define me. My character, my values, my actions, those are the things that matter in life. Since that day a weight has been lifted.
So here we are, less than two weeks out from our first yard sale and rooms are filling up as we clear out the hiding spots.   I really didn’t think we had this much stuff. Thankfully Mitch’s sister Cindy is coming to help!
Cindy, my sunflower of life!
Cindy, my sunflower of life!
What a blessing she is in my life. Kind, funny, giving, with a warm loving heart. She can make working in the rain, slopping through mud that pulls off your boots, a super fun time!  Let’s just hope the rain doesn’t find us this time!