Ugh Is An Understatement

Not even two days after pops had passed away; Mitch was sick as a dog, body aches, fever and just miserable.  I felt for him and I tried my best to give him attention and care, but honestly I was in a such a daze of my own I wasn’t much help. I was taking care of all the things one must do after a death and was just trying to come to terms with losing pops.

Pops service was super special, just like him

Two days later and I was experiencing first hand the misery of Mitch’s sickness!  The aches were awful, the fever and chills, just debilitating!  It was horrible and all I wanted to do was sleep, but I figured I’d just take some Tylenol, pull up my boots and go to work.  Three days later and I still wasn’t feeling any better.  Mitch was on the mend after day three, so I figured I needed to just wait it out. Finally after 5 days of having a fever I gave in and decided I needed to go to the doctor.  The reason for having a fever for so long, an ear infection and probably some kind of virus, maybe the flu.  They wouldn’t be able to know for sure if it was the flu unless they did a flu test, and asked if I wanted to be tested.  I said, “sure why not, I’d like to know if we really did have the flu.”  The doctor said, “well, you’re probably not going to like the test though, they need to swab your nose.”  I thought to myself, ok, no big deal, I’ve put q-tips in my nose before; and then he came in with it.  It was thin, and long… way too long for just going up my nose, and they had to put it waaaaayy up there, like 5 inches up my nose!  I asked if he could just do one nostril and that was a big fat no, it had to be both. I decided to take one for the team and just go for it.  He had me tip my head back, and ugh, the burning and stinging and instant pain was shocking, and then he was done with one.  Phew, ok I can do this… I shake off the feeling and get ready for the other side, it wasn’t as bad, maybe because I knew what was coming, but eeeekkks the burning in the back of my head.  Wow, it seriously sucked!  Thankfully it was over and we were going to be on our way to get antibiotics and the doctor said they’d call if the results came back as the flu.   Suddenly I felt warm, really warm, then super hot, burning up, so I take off my sweater and I think I might get sick, oh wait everything is getting dark and muffled in my ears. Mitch looks at me and says, “are you ok? you look so pale? are you going to pass out?” my whole body leans to the left and I can’t shake the feeling, I …am….about….to…….faint. So I let go and just melt onto Mitch while I try to come back into reality.   Finally, things begin returning to focus and I need water, water, I need water.  I go over to the sink, put my head under the faucet and drink as if I’d been walking in the desert for days.  Phew, now that was crazy.  I almost pass out from getting a flu test. ha! I’m such a silly girl.

all turned upside down

I got a call the next morning from the doctor and yes, it was the flu.

There’s a name for our experience, it’s called “the let-down effect”, and basically once you make it through a really stressful time in life your body comes down from all the stress and pressure and then you get sick. There are studies about this phenomenon but I think the good Lord knows that during hard times its just too much to get sick, so he helps you wait till you have time and can handle it.

Then I got this weird circle spot on my chin!

I put PRID on it, and it stopped the itching and seemed to help it heal

First I thought it was a spider bite, then someone said maybe it’s from the stress, someone else thought it could be from my ear infection or an allergic reaction….but when someone mentioned it could be the possibility of RING WORM, it was time to go back to the doctor.  She said my ear infection was gone and it’s not ring worm, she thinks it was probably a spider bite. So now it’s been three weeks, we both still have a cough, but everyday we are getting a little better, physically and emotionally. Healing takes time, and we aren’t rushing ourselves to be better. We’re just learning to live again, so we go into each day with love and acceptance of life as it is now.

 

Until We Meet Again

Papa went to be with the Lord on March 31, 2017 at 6:04 p.m.  He was at home with us, just as he would’ve wanted it.  Pneumonia had its hold and wouldn’t let go, but a stroke on Wednesday March 29th, helped him get to heaven a little sooner.

Now he’s hanging out with Mitch’s dad, back with mom and everyone else that went before him.

But I know he still loves me this much

soaking up all the love in heaven

No longer in the prison of his dementia

Charlie is trying to adjust

Them being besties

and back seat napping buddies

Charlie hasn’t eaten in a few days but is starting to come back around

The man who was always up for almost anything made some great memories with us.

whether he was kittening around

or pretending to be grumpy cat

he was always drinking in the goodness of life

Even when he was tired, he was willing to keep me company

And aways had a smile on his face

When we traveled the country

and things got tough, he’d have a profound moment of deep thought and say just the right thing… like, “it is what it is, we’ll manage.”

I loved being his pride and joy

and Mitch loved being his son

Boy did the three of us have some fun!

The joy of a good breakfast

and coming over for pie

my daddy

was a wonderful guy

Now he’s in the mansion in the sky!

We’ll remember the good times

cherishing what we had

but for now

we’ll wrap our loving arms around the memory of you

and say “goodbye Dad”

 

Services will be held at the Washington State Veterans Cemetary on April 14, 2017 at 10:30 a.m.

The Call of Doody

Have you ever been enjoying a meal, watching a good show, you go to have your last bite and it’s gone?!  Somehow, inadvertantly you ate it without realzing it?  I had that expeience last week and I was a bit dismayed about my level of sadness about the event.  It was like a moment in time had passed, I forgot to make a point to enjoy that last bite, and now I’d never get it back.  I feel like that’s the way life’s been going for us lately… so consumed by the ever changing world of pops and the level of attention he requires, that I just don’t have anything left in me to pay attention to even the last bite of a good meal.  I’ve somehow self inflicted a world of parallasis to projects knowing that my attention will be needed any minute and indifference to everyday tasks as pops slowly progresses toward the second to final stage of dementia.

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Pops and Happy staring out the window

If it were just dementia maybe it’d seem more managable, but he’s got the trifecta of troubles; Congestive Heart Failure, COPD and Dementia.  Giving him breathing treatments, getting him to stand on a scale so we can weigh him everyday to make sure he’s not retaining water in his lungs from the CHF and trying to find foods he’ll eat just to maintain his weight has become our main focus.

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Pops, its not going to get into your lungs through your eyeball!

He is now at 96 lbs and we try to give him anything we think he might eat, of course sneaking in supplimental drinks into his shakes every chance we get. Food has become a lot more of a challenge, we aren’t sure if it’s the texture of the food, how much chewing is involved, or sweet vs savory. It’s probably all of it, according to the internet and maybe even the plate we put it on.

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At least he plays with his food if he’s not going to eat it.

Last night we made homemade burritos, one of pops favorites and we thought the tortilla would be too tough to chew so we added his favorite sauce ontop of the meat with cheese and tomatoes. He took one bite and set it on the floor.  We then went for cream of wheat and he ended up taking one bite and then smearing it all over his hands and face.  Next we tried Raisin Bran, because he kept saying he was hungry but one bite and then he spit in the bowel.  We gave him a half of a banana and when we got back to him he’d thrown it across the room.  The day before he’d eaten all of a brownie and ice cream so we figured that would be a fail safe…. nope, no luck, and he’s still saying he’s hungry! Finally, I used the rest of a strawberry banana shake with ensure in it and gave that to him.  He probably had half of a glass and didn’t want any more. That is not like him at all, so times are a changing.  Even Pops water needs to be altered since he has a hard time swollowing, and it goes down the wrong pipe. When he swollows down the wrong pipe it causes him to cough and can result in pnumonia.

thick-it

We use Thick it and it has really increases the amount of water he’ll drink, so he’s staying hydrated.

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I found the cup on the right at the thrift store, and it has a lid with drinking holes of both sides!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m honored to care for my dad and will be grateful to be there for him till the days end, but sometimes it is really draining. Physically, mentally and emotionally spent, but still grateful! Pops and I  are so blessed to have Mitch carry the weight of these trying times, it would be too much for one person for sure. We are a team and even as I re-read this I know I wouldn’t want it any other way!

He wasn’t sleeping well at night, waking all hours of the night and getting wrapped up in projects, click here to see his oxygen hose art.

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Yes, he has a glove on his hand and a glove on his foot

Being the fact that he, at times, is up all night which in turn makes his days long and rough, the doctor prescribed a different kind of sleeping pill…..BAD news. The side effects made him so weak and off balance that he fell twice in one day, we took him to urgent care thinking he’d broken a rib. Forturnately it wasn’t broken but certainly bruised. We had days of him bouncing off the walls just miserable,… come to find out, it was probably the pain he was feeling and couldn’t express it.  When the doctors asked if he was in pain he said no… but guess what, he was and thats what was causing him to be so loud and anxious. We’ve learned that people with dimentia can’t express things like before and we have to learn how to listen differently! Here’s a video of how he was right after getting home from urgent care, it’s just heart breaking.

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We put his bed on the floor so if he fell out of bed he wouldn’t have far to fall

Now, when he wakes up at 2 in the morning and he’s hungry I make him breakfast and get him ready for the day.  I would rather wake up 20 times a night than to drug him up, make him weak and worry about him falling more than I already do.

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Charlie, Milo, Happy and Papa all napping

Just as we’ve gotten used to pee puddles on the floor at night, we’ve entered into the next phase….that’s right people, its now about the poo, the caca, the crapper doo, the doody magoo!  A few nights ago we were concerned because he hadn’t had a bowel movement for a few days so when he finally went, we were all so happy.

Later that night I woke to the too familiar motion sensor, bleep, bleep, bleep I look up and see on the screen him standing in the middle of the room relieving himself.  I tell myself I don’t need to hurry out to him as he’s already peed, 2 minutes later I hear another bleep, bleep, bleep and see him sitting on the end table, with his pants down.  I manage to drag myself from bed and go to help him get back to his.  Of course first I turn on the lights to clean up the puddle in the middle of the floor.  Right when I turn on the lights pops is like, whoa, there’s a puddle there, what’s that from?  I blame it on the rain, clean up the mess and think its all good to go, until I go to stand him up.  There, in a soft serve massive pile ON THE END TABLE is his latest bowel movement.  Now that’s not the worst part, the worst part is that he’s already forgotten what happend and ends up getting his hands in it, and then touching everything around him, his face, his clothes, me.  Oh boy, after an hour, getting him showered and everything wiped down he was ready to eat and start the day, never mind that it was 3 a.m. by this time.  I make him oatmeal, put on a movie and go back to bed for a couple hours thinking it was a fluke.  I’m sad to say it wasn’t.  Since then we’ve had a few more incidents of incontinence and we know that this too is part of the disease.

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Pops, Mitch, Karen, Mike and Stacey downtown for the memory walk to help end Alzheimers

What hasn’t and never will change is love, his need for love, our love for him and his love for us.  For that we are grateful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dad’s Endearing Ways

Yes, dementia is a serious disease, but there’s so  many things that dad does now that crack us up and are BEYOND adorable.  We are learning to dance in the rain.

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Looking at life from another perspective

Breakfast is pops favorite meal of the day.

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Do you see what I see

Well, how'd my glasses get in there? Do you think I would do something like that?

Well, how’d my glasses get in there? Do you think I’d do something like that?

The man with a million facial expressions, and each one cuter than the next!

Hey pops, whacha doin?

Hey pops, whacha doin?

I’ll be doing up dishes, look up and there he is, elbow deep in his food.

I don't know how I got my breakfast on my face, but it feels nice.

I don’t know how I got my breakfast on my face, but it sure feels nice… you got coconut oil in the syrup?

I did what?

Oatmeal on my hands… well, how’d that happen?

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The unintentional sock puppet

It took me 5 minutes to get him outside to just relax on the front porch bench, then in the three minutes I was away trying to get ready for work he was able to spill his coffee and get undressed.

Spilled some coffee, not a problem, just get undressed.

Spilled some coffee? Not a problem, just take it off.

He tried to drink dirt from a potted plant once.

He tried to brush his teeth with a straw. He’s also tried to brush his teeth with his fork while watching America’s funniest home videos.

He tried brushing his hair with his toothbrush.

He tried to eat his food with the handle side of his fork.

He’s forgotten he has a fork and attempted to eat his cake with his straw.

He’s poured coffee from his cup to wet his face with it.

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This is Pops with his coffee soaked hair, when I showed him this picture he said, “Well, I’ll be, I look like my Dad”

then he said, " What am I doing?"

then he said, ” What am I doing?” and I reminded him he wanted to brush his hair.

Most noises frighten him, as he can’t distinguish what it is initially, so he’s gotten into the habit of just saying, “aaaaaahhh”, and I’ve gotten in the habit of warning when a loud noise will happen.

He’ll try to put sweatpants on, thinking it’s a shirt. He also did it once with a pillow case.

I’m happy to report that pops is doing really well, after spending 5 days at the Spokane VA for pneumonia we got to bring him home night before last.

2nd visit in 3 days to urgent care, no fun

2nd visit in 3 days to urgent care, no fun

Everyone LOVED him there,

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he was treated wonderfully during his stay and they made sure someone was with him the entire time.

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Embracing the endearing moments and cherishing every moment we have together.

 

Coconut oil and Turmeric for Dementia

I would like to first catch you up on the progression of my dad’s dementia. When I first heard the word dementia I thought, ok, so they forget things and forget how things work, the end.  There is so much more involved with them forgetting.  No, really, SOO much more!  We used to just be able to verbally direct my dad to the bathroom and from there it was all good.  Our first realization that it was no longer “all good” was a couple months ago.  I’d gone into the bathroom, thinking nothing of nothing and then I reached for the toilet paper…. it was soaked with pee. Yep, he thought that was the toilet and from then on we’ve  had to keep on eye on him constantly, and It’s progressively gotten worse.

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Just wait till I wake up, I’ll keep you on your toes… or maybe pee on them!

The second time it happened was when we returned home from camping at Noisy Creek. We stopped at the grocery store to pick up some things for dinner and when I hopped into the front seat I hear this splattering sound, like something liquid was being poured into metal behind my seat in Harvey the RV. Yep, there was dad, peeing in the empty metal dog dish, splattering all over, unaware of anything. Thankfully most of it ended up in the dish. Since then, it’s been peeville, pee patrol and for pee’s sake.  Thankfully he still knows when he has to go, but no place is safe. He’s lifted the seat cushion of his chair (thinking it’s the toilet lid) and pee’d all over it before I could run in to redirect him. He’s went in the trash, in the middle of the floor, in front of the sink and a few times he’s almost went on his end table and tv tray. Thankfully we don’t have carpet anywhere!  There’s no point in ever getting bothered about it, it’s just part of the disease. Since no place is safe we have everything covered in his room, so his place is pee proofed, (at least it wont soak into anything again) and when he comes over to the house we make sure he’s not left alone for a second, cuz that’s all it takes!

You're not the only one pooped pops, would you nap for us to?

You’re not the only one pooped pops, would you nap for us to0?

Mitch even got extra camera’s set up around Pops place to really keep an eye on him. They have motion sensor’s on them so they beep when they sense movement. We’ve gotten trained like pavlov’s dog to respond when we hear that bleep, bleep, bleep. It’s 20 steps to make it into his place, and 9 times out of 10 we can redirect him to the bathroom in time, thankfully!

Yep, he's reloading

Yep, he’s reloading

The newest thing is him spitting on the floor, where ever he is, what ever it is.. snot, flem, his pills, water, and anything in his mouth at the time, it will be on the floor right in front of him or on his plate. He’ll even take a drink of his coffee, swish it around in his mouth and spit it out, just cuz. That is this disease! Recently we’ve noticed that he will hold liquid in his mouth and not swallow for quite a while (we think he forgets he even has it in his mouth).  It’s called dysphagia, and unfortunately this also comes with the territory.

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wait papa, don’t spit it out!

From what I’ve learned they will even forget how to swallow, how to chew, how to speak. It’s not ok, I can’t just watch this happen, we’ve got to try everything we can. We tried a couple different kinds of medications on him. One to slow the progression, it was awful. He could barely walk, vomiting, sleeping half the day and a zombie the other half of the day.  We stopped giving it to him after the first night. Another drug was to help him relax, not get so aggitated and to sleep through the night.  Talk about sleep, they said to give him half a pill, so we did that first night and he fell asleep with a fork in his hand and cake on his plate, then he was still up half the night, bouncing off the walls.  We thought maybe it was just too strong so we gave him 1/4 of a pill and that seemed to slightly help him but still he was having such difficulty walking and focusing and sleeping.  During this time he stopped laughing at things, he wasn’t even able to finish the words of songs that he knew. These signs seems to say that soon we would need to start feeding him.  After talking with his doctor about my concerns and hopes to get him off that medicine he said I could stop giving them to him immediatiely.  There was a difference in his disposition as soon as it was out of his system. Drugs were doing more harm than good, so I opted to see what is out there in the world that is natural.  I was shocked to find out about the great success people are having with natural products and I was honestly quite annoyed that it’s not common knowledge that these things really can help. I wish I’d known sooner!

Studies have shown that you’ve got to be your own advocate,

do the research and seek the truth,

especially if it’s something that nature already provides!

Pops getting some vitiman D

Pops getting some vitiman D

One really good thing from all of this is that he has totally forgotten that he smokes.  On occasion he’ll ask where his lighter is and then forget that’s what he was looking for and rarely does he mention cigarettes.  When he does want a smoke we give him the electronic one, he’ll take one puff and be done or he ends up playing with it for 20 minutes taking it apart and putting it back together just to hand it back to us completely disinterested.

Going nuts for coconut oil….

Seriously, I think that coconut oil and turmeric is helping my dad and his dementia!

Anyone and everyone, please hear me when I say…………………….

COCONUT OIL AND TUMERIC MAY HELP SOME PEOPLE WITH DEMENTIA!

do some googling, watch video’s and read all about the best kind and what people are doing for their loved ones. I’m not giving any medical advice, I’m just a daughter trying to bring back her father. That being said, it’s only been a couple weeks, but for everyone who knows anyone that is affected by this awefulness of dementia what’s the harm in learning more about it and giving it a try?

I’ll list a few of the changes we’ve (including caregivers) noticed:

he’s laughing again at things on TV.

he stopped saying he doesn’t care (as that’s been his latest saying for the last couple weeks).

he’ll still ask what’s happening, and ask the good Lord to help him, but it’s not for hours on end.

He calls the dogs by their names again.

He has an interest in things again, so much so he put some almonds in the sink and clogged up the drain.  This may seem trivial but before that he had no interest in anything!

He has been more alert than he’s been in months!!

He sleeps better at night.

He’s even joking around like he used to.

When I start a song now, he’ll finish the line!  I’ll sing ” Tie a yellow ribbon” and he’ll say “round the old oak tree” or I’ll say, “A bushel and a peck” and he’ll say, “and a hug around the neck”.  I just can’t express the joy it brings me to have him doing this again.

Intially I bought everything in pill form, thinking it would be the best and the easiest to monitor his intake.  After reading and learning more, I am now using the real deal of each.

We are using  Nutiva Organic Virgin Coconut oil right now, but love Island Fresh Superior Organic Coconut Oil from Amazon and already went through one container and ran out.  It doesn’t have a strong smell and is a great price for the value!

 

virgin cold pressed, not refined, deodorized or bleached. (make sure you read those labels, found a couple brands that looked like they were exactly the same, until I came across one little word that means lots,… refined) I give him

Coconut oil -two tablespoons in the morning and plan to work him up to two at night.

Turmeric-1 teaspoon in the morning

They say not to heat the oil in the microwave as it removes nutrients, thankfully it melts easily so I just put it in a little glass then dunk the glass in some hot water, it melts within a couple minutes.

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melting the coconut oil and turmeric in a little glass sitting inside a cup of hot water

The other morning for the first time I gave it to dad to drink, along with the teaspoon of Tumeric.

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Doesn’t that look delicious!

Initially I tried to put it in his oatmeal, he ate it the first day, the next day he hardly ate any.  I put it in his coffee, he drank less than half a cup. Finally I decided the best way to make sure he gets all the goodness is just give it to him straight.  I thought he would be grossed out by the taste, so I took a video of his first time drinking it.  When I asked him what he thought, I meant the taste of the mixture but he thought I meant did he think it was working already, so cute.

Two days after having him drink it straight, it went straight through him…. literally! Always best to ease them up to 4 tbsp. and mix with food…. or it might just hit the fan, (or the chair) if you know what I mean. My bad, I was overly excited to get it started in his system! Sorry poops, I mean Pops!

As of now, I put the turmeric in the pancake batter, and melt the coconut oil in with his syrup and that has been the best process so far. And in the evening, I plan to put it in a yummy little shake for him (after his body gets used to the 2 tbsp).

You're doing what to my breakfast?

You’re doing what to my breakfast?

He is by no means cured, but his disposition is better, his quality of life is better and that’s what really matters at this point.

Watch the video of him, these clips are from the middle of May 2016  through to the middle of July 2016.

Camping in Colville

Noisy Creek Campground 

 near Cusick, WA on Sullivan Lake

Colville National Forest

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We’d planned to stay a couple of days, but after a long restless night, one day was plenty!

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We still had enough time to soak in the sights

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made plans to kayak on this lake another time

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Saw the creek that gave the campground its name

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Enjoyed the amazing beauty that surrounded us

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feeling mesmerized by it’s never ending charm

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Blew bubbles and wittled sticks

perplexed about what kind of bug this was, and enjoying that fact that we couldn't look it up on our phones!

perplexed about what kind of bug this was, and enjoying that fact that we couldn’t look it up on our phones!

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got some good laughs and made some special memories.

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We stayed at site #4, very spacious and somewhat secluded

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Pops did some off road adventuring

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I gazed at the clouds passing over the trees

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Mitch make fire! He man of tribe!

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campfire pretty

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Enjoyed hot dogs and bbq potato chips

The man with a flower in his cap was ready to go home and the night had just begun!

As night came upon us, the man with a flower in his cap was ready to go home… and the night had just begun!

Dad's suggesting we get ready to head home soon

Reminiscing about stories of the past

Being up almost every hour during the night made it seem as if we'd been camping for days

Being up almost every hour during the night with pops made it seem as if we’d been camping for days.

We were all ready to start loading, just a couple more pictures to capture the experience

We were all ready to start loading, just a couple more pictures to capture the experience

Heading home

Heading home

Over the red bridge we go

Over the red bridge we go

A day of daisy's and dillydally'n will do for now

A day of daisy’s and dillydally’n we will do for now, see you again soon

 

 

 

 

The Endurance of Love

Letting go of a loved one is something you can never really be ready for. My mom left this world in 2003 after a long battle with cancer, yet the day death came I wasn’t prepared. The humid Oklahoma air hung heavier than usual and my heart ached as I sat next to my mom’s bedside holding onto her hand for dear life, knowing that soon she would be gone. I tried to memorize her face, the softness of her hands and the smell of her lavender lotion. My Aunt, holding my mom’s other hand said through sorrowful tears “Jackie, it’s ok, we love you and you can let go now.” I couldn’t say it, I didn’t want her to go, she was my mom! In my heart I begged her not go, I remained silent, but inside I screamed and cried for my mom to stay with me. I never really knew the comfort her love provided me until her last breath and she was no more of this world.  I’ve felt bad for not saying it was ok to go, but for all my life she never knew how much I needed her. I’d like to think that me being honest and somewhat selfish at the end, made her spirit soar to heaven feeling beyond loved and forever needed.

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It’s been almost 13 years and still when I think of that day, I feel all those feelings as if it just happened. I want to be more benevolent in dealing with my dad’s disease, especially seeing him struggle so hard at this stage.

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Hours on end he’ll try to figure out what is going on with his mind,but he no longer remembers what’s causing these problems and doesn’t realize that he’s saying the same things over and over. During these challenging times he’ll say, “Oh Lord, help me please! What is happening? Oh, Lord, please, help me. What am I doing? Please, someone help me, what is happening. I don’t understand. Lord please, HELP ME!”

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Even the doctor ran tests because he was so not himself last time we went to the VA, but all the tests came back fine.

We try to distract him, we’ll explain that it’s the dementia, we’ll tell him how sorry we are that it’s happening and it’ll stay with him for seconds and then he forgets what we just told him and he’s back to that horrible feeling that he’s loosing his mind….because he is. Sometimes distractions work and he’ll relax and enjoy the moment, but other times he wont let it go and we just tell him he’s asking the right guy.

Sometimes if he naps it helps to relax him and he'll have a better day afterwards.

Sometimes if he naps it helps to relax him and he’ll have a better day afterwards.

I’ve heard people say, dementia is a difficult disease but to see a loved one, day in and day out struggle so hard trying to figure out what is happening, is a whole other beast of burden. A couple of weeks ago dad was going through a particularly rough time, unable make eye contact, he was pleading in desperation for help to understand what was happening, engulfed in his own world of dispare there was no connecting with him. Heart broken and feeling helpless I said the one thing I would never want to happen. Sitting on a little stool next to him in his chair I said “Dad, I’m okay if you need to go to the next stage of this disease and forget that I’m you daughter, if it helps you to not feel lost anymore.” After I said it out loud I began crying so hard my shoulders were doing the up and down shake as I gasped for air, my face drenched in tears and red splotches I let all my sadness out. I was mourning the loss of my dad as I’ve always known him to be and trying to make myself accept how things are now. To my astonishment he stops repeating his cycle of words, turns and looks directly at me with sympathy and attentiveness and says, “What’s wrong baby girl?”  He placed one hand on the top of my head and ran it over my hair down to the side of my cheek and then cuped my face with both hands. So beyond grateful for this moment, I desprately tried to utter my feelings as my sobbing is now uncontrollable. Through gasps, I say, “I just miss you already, this sucks! I’m so sorry this is happening. I love you! Thank you for being here with me in this moment. I needed you, and you came back to me! I love you.”  He pulls my head to him, gives me a huge love hug and says, “It’ll all work out baby girl, it’s ok. I love you.”  Seconds later he was back to trying to figure out what was happening, but I had just experience the true endurance of love, a precious gift of a moment in time that will give me everlasting joy and help me get through the tough times to come.

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Love endures all things!