Goin' Road Trippin'

What’s in a word? Well letters, of course. But also, they can push you down or lift you up. I’ve never been very active on other platforms, but that changed about 6 months ago and I’ll tell you what, if you want to be taken down a few notches, tiktok is the place to thicken your skin. Everyone has an opinion and it can be harsh. I found myself slowly getting wrapped up in that other world. I instantly witnessed, and on a small scale experience the massive love and hate of strangers. I viewed it as practice and working up my nerve to continue posting YouTube.

It worked, initially that gut punching sting of being called stupid or being told to shut up hit like a ton of bricks, but after time progressed I was able to not take it so personally and realize opinions are something that everyone has an abundance of! No point in contorting myself into an idea of how I should be when making videos, I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and the only thing I can truly be is me. Not taking it personally was the lesson I needed.

Being ok with putting myself out on YouTube is crossing a line that I think I’ve actually come to terms with. It’s so strange to see myself talk, to see my face.. I’ve never really been aware of my physical self. I’ve always envisioned myself more as an energy, a floating bouncing energy ball ( or a flower). Seriously, occasionally I see a woman look at me in a department store or making eye contact from a car and she’ll look somewhat familiar, but I’m not sure how I know her. I’ll wonder to myself why is she staring at me? why does she seem so confused AND is staring at me? Then a moment later I realize that woman is me!

So after a six month break, I’ll be back posting on YouTube and hope you’ll consider watching me and my sweetie. We’re carving our own path through the reselling world.

https://youtube.com/channel/UC5cxMjvIFfIZe9NXtvpmVhQ

I plan to post more stories and such here as well from now on. Thanks for sticking with me and I hope this year is your best year yet!

Bad News Blues

Through my life, when I’m about to get bad news, like really bad, life and death bad news, I find myself calm. All other times, when it turns out to be nothing, I’m a nervous wreck before knowing the truth. I believe the good Lord knows when it’s real, I need Him to help me deal. Almost as if I can feel Him holding me tight with His love, keeping my soul at peace. Today I’m calm as I sit here in the vet clinic waiting for the doctor. I think to myself, “why are you so calm? Oh no, I’m not panicking! Crap, it must be something serious if you’re this calm. Maybe if I start to worry and let my mind begin racing like usual it’ll turn out to be nothing.” So silly to think I can control an outcome based on how I’m feeling. But then again who doesn’t think crazy thoughts when facing reality..

It’s Milo, he has white gums, lethargic, occasional thin and dark poo…and just not himself. We’d noticed something was off a couple weeks ago when he started licking this brick in the house, so I looked it up and read that it could be a diet deficiency or anemia, which results from serious illnesses. Today, when I was checking his teeth and saw how pale his gums were, we went straight to the vet.

The doctor just came in with the lab results, I can see it in her eyes as she comes to sit next to me. She tells me about the test results, that his red blood cells are low (anemia) and his liver numbers are off too… she’s pretty sure it’s cancer, more than likely colon cancer. After talking with the family we all agree, as long as he isn’t in pain, we’ll wait for him to tell us when he’s ready. So for now we will hold him long and lots, and give him extra treats and yummy sweets (that are ok for dogs of course).

We’ve had 11 love filled years with him, so many memories and now we’ll do our best to ensure the rest of his time is about quality of life and comfort. Milo’s birthday is March 4th, I’m going to look into making him some pupcakes!